There’s nothing better than spotting someone interesting on the street and making my move. This time, it was a younger guy from the community, standing in the square smoking a cigarette. I walked up, asked his name, his age, and slipped him my QR code. Two days later, he texts me — “Found this in my pocket. Let’s do it.” Turns out he wears a size 43, so I invited him over.

As we talked, I learned his love life is… complicated. Despite living here since he was a teen, he’s been with every type of woman—hence his four kids (each with a different mother). And he’s only 31.

I love when guys show up in work sneakers and socks, especially after a long day. But nothing drives me crazier than Oakley boots. The second I caught a whiff of his foot stink, I was gone—imagining those soles marinating in those boots for days.